2006 has undoubtedly been one of the worst years of my life (so far — and I hope they don’t come much worse), so I’m more than glad that it’s almost over. I know, I know, it’s nothing more than a change of calendar date, and that thinking of my life in terms of yearlong chunks might well encourage some kind of complacency, but my luck has been more than awful over the past 12 months. My familial relations, my social relations, career prospects, mental and physical wellbeing, etc, have all suffered massively – I know I won’t have many fond memories of this year – especially the latter half during which I was subjected to many ugly things, and in which I did some ugly things too. The world outside my little cocoon also become a much shittier place in general, and sometimes when I’m particularly down I switch on the news and it’s reassuring to see other people suffering across the world, to know that it’s not just me– that I’m not completely alone. Like yesterday for example. Something especially upsetting happened yesterday which left me feeling weak and numb and which I still feel very shaken from right now as I type. So, I lay down on the sofa and switched on Channel 4 news which was showing a special report on the carnage in Iraq: the words and pictures relaying in some miniscule measure just how the sheer horrors faced by everyday Iraqis have intensified many-fold in the past 12 months. I felt really perverse for thinking this, but it did make me feel a bit better about what’d happened to me, gave me some morbid perspective. See, at least that’s not happening to me…
Ah, anyway, it’s Christmas soon, and that usually means some good films on the TV. But this year it’s just crap. I mean, where are all the old Carry On films, British sitcom spin-offs, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, the 80’s American classics?
To round off, there were some bright spots to this year, mostly discovering new music, films and books, and losing myself in them. Here are my favourites:
CDs:
Neko Case - Fox Confessor….
Gregory Isaacs – Night Nurse
The Congos – Heart of the Congos
Gram Parsons – Grievous Angel
Books:
Kurt Vonnegurt – Slaughterhouse Five
Charles Dickens – Great Expectations
Fyodor Dostoevsky – The Brothers Karamazov
…oh my mind’s blanked out at the mo, but I’ll add more.
Look if your feeling down read Celine’s Journey to the end of the night. He had a pretty shit life never mind a bad year. Still i understand where you are coming from it better that someone agrees with you that life is shitrather than say ‘Cheer up, it could be worst’ and when that happens it just has.
Anyway i recommend that you read Celine’s Journey my misanthropic friend.
Comment by ZinZin — December 23, 2006 @ 12:11 am |
Some years can be so bad that one wonders how to lift one’s head from the pillow in the morning.
I don’t know what’s happened to you this year, but eight years ago I lost my mother and my husband within six weeks of each other. Neither had been expected to die, my mother had been ill for about two weeks, and my husband appeared to be enjoying rude good health. But there they were, gone. I remember leaving the hospital with Katy after my husband had been pronounced DOA, turning to her, and saying ‘What the fuck happened back there?’.
Anyway, I carried on, and after a while, I got used to things, and found that I was still here, the sun still shone, the grass still grew.
Then I was bitten by a mosquito on a four day trip to Venice, which set off a train of events that have left me, at least for now, able only to shuffle around on a zimmer frame, and mostly, chair-bound.
So now my life is different again, but the sun still shines, and the grass still grows.
Now this really isn’t a competition about whose life is worse, because personal tragedies generally can’t be measured against each other.
The reason I am telling you this, is because I seem to be unable to make a point without some sort of pre-amble. So here is the point.
Things happen in phases. It’s very, very, rarely bad (or good) for somebody all the time. There is however no doubt at all that people have bad patches that appear (to them) to last for a very long time. Unfortunately we notice all the bad patches, but don’t notice the good ones till another bad one comes along.
I wish you well for 2007. I am going to wish you soemthing that is better than happiness, I am going to wish you contentment.
Comment by chairwoman — December 23, 2006 @ 1:08 pm |
Thanks ZinZin, I’ll see if I can find it at my local library.
Also, very many thanks to you Chairwoman. What you wrote was very similar to what my mother’s been trying to drill into my thick skull for a while now — mothers always know best, eh? I guess perspective is a very important thing, though maybe you don’t realise it when you’re sitting in a trough. Anyway, a very happy Hanukkah and a great 2007 to you an’ all!
Comment by anask — December 23, 2006 @ 1:50 pm |
Oh, Anas! You poor thing!
I’m feeling sentimental and in the mood to get a little cheesy, so allow me
When I was younger (I’m 27.5 yrs old now), I used to think that I was the only one who has endured very unfortunate experiences. And while it is true that my own story is peculiar, and I’ve been told by 50 somethings that they have never lived through what I have, I’ve discovered that you simply never know what the next person is going through. They might not disclose it, they may be able to mask it well. But you never know. Perhaps it was the naiveness and egocentrism of youth that made me feel like I was the only one having a troubled life.
And I’ve had my share of messed up years, whereby I’ve eagerly awaited the New Year to breathe a sigh of relief and hope for a better year. This time last year, I was going through turbulent times. This year, I’m still going to winds of drastic change, but it’s better. And I can’t wait for the New Year to start.
Moral of the story: Things get better. A person very dear to me used to say, “You have to hit rock bottom sometimes to get high up.” And when you’re feeling like when it rains it REALLY pours, remember that eventually, the sun will shine through and all that water will be dried up.
Comment by Desi Italiana — December 23, 2006 @ 9:05 pm |
Oh god, I just re-read my comment. It really was cheesy.
Books to read:
Salman Rushdie: The Moor’s Last Sigh
Mordechai Richler: Barney’s Version
Vikram Chandra: Red Earth and Pouring Rain
Pankaj Mishra: The Romantics
Bapsi Sidwha: Cracking India
Writers:
Amit Chaudhri
RK Narayan
Rohinton Mistry
There are sooo many writers and tons of wonderful books I’ve read, and my mind is blank right now. I’ll come back when I think of more. Oh, and if you’re a hopeless romantic (like I am), I suggest Nicholas Sparks’ “The Notebook.” Very sweet book.
Comment by Desi Italiana — December 23, 2006 @ 9:12 pm |
Hope 2007 will treat you better than 2006:)
All of the best stuff to you.
ps: Very nice piece on tantrism on Mort’s place.
Comment by manue — January 6, 2007 @ 9:46 pm |
Cheers, Fuzz and a very happy new year to you too.
Comment by anask — January 6, 2007 @ 10:30 pm |
hey there:)
just to let you know that i’ve changed blogs, for various technical reasons. mostly that i didnt want it to take space on gamatron (my space) and secondly cause i got sick of spams. and really i had installed mostly for technical testing of the wordpress system, which is indeed excellent.
so, to make a long story short, here is the new blog: http://gamatron.blogspot.com/
its in franglish, as i am moslty writing in french these days, but trying to translate some stuff here and there:).
and isnce i know you’re an amateur of debunking bullshit, i am sure you know the excellent Penn & teller: Bullshit!
just watched the one on recycling, which you can see linked from here:
http://alloftv.net/index.php?content=episodes&show=193
man do they kick ass. i am glad such folks exist, for sure:)
peace and be good smart one:)
Comment by manue — January 11, 2007 @ 3:54 pm |
woups, there it is in cache, all set now;)
Comment by manue — January 11, 2007 @ 3:55 pm |
Hi fuzz, I’ve changed the link on the blogroll. Looking forward to visiting your site in the coming year.
Comment by anask — January 12, 2007 @ 9:00 pm |
Hiya Anas,
I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad year. Times have been rough for a lot of people. Just thought I’d share a few books that I’ve found inspiring. Heck, I’m always impressed when people read good books. Most of the people I talk to read nothing at all, or romance novels if anything.
One of the most inspiring books I’ve read that is really non-denomination, yet inspiring, is Jean Houston’s “” It’s an autobiography of a truly remarkable woman. Jean Houston was a psychologist who worked with early LSD psychoanalysis, she knew Pierre Tielhard de Chardin in New York while growing up, she worked with Margaret Mead and Joseph Campbell, and has traveled the world to find ways to help people to find their full potential. Maybe you’ll find some inspiration in it as well.
Another incredibly simple yet inspiring book is Paolo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” Very simple, but inspiring for all ages.
If you like Vonnegut, I personally love “Cat’s Cradle” and “Breakfast of Champions.” There’s also Joseph Heller’s “Catch-22.”
Anyway, take care, and I hope you find more understanding and tolerance in your travels.
Blessings,
Shrike
Comment by Shrike — January 25, 2007 @ 2:39 am |